The Red Flag List | Warning Signs to Look Out for Before You Get Too Serious
by Angela Rae
If you are anything like me, you ignore the proverbial red flags because you really want to like this new woman in your life. She could be
performing an interpretive dance with a handful of red flags while intermittently poking you in the eye with them, and you would still give her
the benefit of the doubt. If you really want a successful relationship, you need to stop ignoring the warning signs…some of which I list
below…no matter how attractive, smart, or charming she might come across. If you don’t, invest in some eye patches, because the dance
is not going to end well for you.
1 She has a girlfriend.
I don’t care what she says or what she promises you; stop dating her if she has a girlfriend. She will tell you a number of reasons why she
hasn’t broken up with her girlfriend yet. She doesn’t want to hurt her girlfriend’s feelings because she’s so nice. It’s too complicated
because they’re living together. She would feel bad because her girlfriend named three cats after her. Whatever the issues, she needs to
get all that taken care of before she even thinks about dating you. Yes, breakups are unpleasant. That’s life and she’s going to have to
deal with it just like the rest of us. I guarantee you one of three things will happen if you date someone who has a girlfriend: 1. she’s going
to go back to her girlfriend; 2. she will end it with both of you so she can “work on herself;” or 3. Break up with her girlfriend, date you, and
then cheat on you just like she cheated on her. Even if she doesn’t cheat on you, you will be constantly paranoid that she is, and that is no
way to begin a relationship. Date someone who is single, fully healed from their last breakup, and has already “worked on herself.”
2 She says you are lucky to be dating her.
The woman who says this is also the same woman who will repeatedly tell you how pretty and popular she is. I’m not a psychiatrist; I have
no idea what is emotionally wrong with this type of person. Maybe she is insecure. Maybe she really thinks she’s God’s gift to lesbians,
like plaid shorts and murses. Whatever the case, you don’t want to stay involved with her. She is not going to change; in fact, she will
probably get more pompous as time goes on.
3 She insults you in any way, shape, or form.
You might tell yourself that she’s just teasing. The difference between a little joke and an insult however, is that an insult makes you feel
bad, regardless of what emoticon follows it. “OMG your hair looked HORRIBLE tonight! Did you even look at yourself in the mirror before
you left the house? LOLZ J/K ;-).” If she continues to say things that hurt your feelings and doesn’t seem to understand why it upsets you,
you should stop dating her. Date someone who makes you feel good and who can appreciate a little bed head.
4 She subtly or not so subtly tells you to change your appearance.
She says you are not butch enough because you wear too much make-up or not femme enough because you do not wear enough make-
up. Maybe she wishes you had tattoos or piercings or thinks you have too many. This woman isn’t attracted to you per se, she’s attracted to
people she can wrap around her little finger.
If she doesn’t like you for you, then there is no point in continuing the relationship. She’s saying these things to you to test her controlling
abilities. If she gets away with it, it will only get worse as time goes on. She will start controlling who you can or cannot be friends with or
where you can or cannot go, and pretty soon you won’t be able to tell the difference between your life and a movie on Lifetime. I admit, it
might be fun to see Meredith Baxter-Birney play you in a movie, but I don’t think it will outweigh the actual pain and suffering you will endure
in real life.
5 She says the “L” word too soon.
If she says she loves you after a few dates, pretend you are on fire; stop, drop, and roll; and escape through the nearest door or window. I’
m fairly certain she won’t contact you again, which is exactly what you want. When you begin to date someone the only time the “L” word
should be mentioned is in reference to the complimentary bread she’s stuffing in her mouth while you two are out on a date. No one
actually falls in love within a few dates. That only happens in movies, because no one is going to pay to see a romantic comedy that is
long enough to realistically portray a normal functioning relationship. If someone says the “L” word that fast, they are going to expect way
too much from you way too soon.
6 She only seems interested in you when she’s drunk.
The good news is you’re at least number two or three on her booty call list. The bad news is she doesn’t want to actually date you. She
just wants to keep you close enough so she can use you when she’s desperate for attention. Sure, you could ply her with booze to make
sure she is constantly drunk, but that is a very expensive way to get the attention you deserve. If you would like a cheaper way to obtain
similar results, you could always find a prostitute, or perhaps you should focus on finding a girl who really likes you.
7 She contacts you way too much.
She’s either obsessed with you, bored with her life, or both. It is also not a good sign if she gets upset when you don’t reply quickly
enough, because you happen to work for a living. If you are uncomfortable with how often she’s trying to get in touch with you, you need to
tell her. If she doesn’t respect your boundaries, you need to stop dating her sooner rather than later. The longer you wait to end things with
her, the more of a nightmare she’s going to become. Not just any nightmare, I mean like a crazy, evil, half clown half Ann Coulter look-alike
chasing you around a Justin Bieber concert kind of nightmare.
Copyright 2012 © AMBIENTE MAGAZINE.
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APRIL 12-15, 2012