4.  Don’t smell like a hooker

                                                    There is nothing more pleasant than a nice smellin’
                                                    woman.  But don’t over do it.  If you smell yourself, then
                                                    you have too much on.  Brush your teeth, use mouthwash,
                                                    and rinse.  Don’t smell like you just came out of the dentist
                                                    office, but don’t smell like your morning cup of coffee.

                                   5.  Pay attention to her

                                                    Ask follow up questions and look her in the eyes while
                                                    speaking.  Don’t stare, that’s just straight up creepy, but
                                                    don’t let your eyes wonder at every diversion.  She’s
                                                    important, she doesn’t want to be another one of your
                                                    distractions.
6.  Pay

If you asked for the first date, pay.  There is nothing more uncomfortable than the two of you staring
at the check when it’s placed on the table.  If you cannot afford a date, then don’t ask to go on one.  
Wait until you have enough money to pay for two nice cups of coffee.

7.  Be yourself

Don’t lie.  50% of people who say “I enjoy reading and writing poetry” are lying.  If you do read, then
tell her the last book you read and how you felt about it.  Have some back up
www.ambiente.us    MAY | MAYO 2010

Lesbian Tips and Tricks and Do's and Don'ts
I've been around the block so you don't have to
by Angela von Aschwege

Don’t ask for long-term relationship tips.  I have none.  I am quite possibly the worst
girlfriend on the planet.  I’ve been on a plethora of first dates however, and I have some
simple tips  that might help you with your first date.

1.  Don’t wear too new shoes

Women notice everything.  EVERYTHING.  If they see that you just bought that outfit
yesterday, they’ll think you are trying too hard, because you are.  Don’t look desperate.  
Look good, but be comfortable in your own shoes.

2.  Don’t be annoying

Talk about yourself only when asked.  Confidence is attractive, but being cocky is just
plain annoying.  Gossiping, non-stop chatter about your ex, and texting are big no nos.  
You are there because you want to see and talk to her.  Unless you expect someone to
die during your one to two hour date, turn off your phone.

3.  Mind your manners

Keep your mouth closed while chewing, put your napkin in your
lap, and don’t order the smelliest messiest thing on the menu.  
She’ll be watching you, and she wants to be able to go out with
you in the future without being completely grossed out.
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information.  If you lie about your age, occupation, how much money you make, hobbies, etc., she
will eventually find out.

8.  Don’t be too weird

Don’t do magic tricks, show them your double jointed thumbs, or tell them your mental disorders.  
Save it until after your fifth date, they’ll be more forgiving.  Be your unique self, but refrain from
overdoing it.

9.  Don’t get drunk

If you get drunk, you probably will break one of the 8 rules above.  
It’s not worth it.  They want to see someone who is in control of
themselves.

10.  Don’t get drunk

Seriously.








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ABOUT THE AUTHOR












Angela von Aschwege was born in
London, England but grew up in the United
States.  She has lived in the Lone Star
State for 16 years, long enough to consider
herself a native Texan. With over 100 hours
of undergraduate schooling, a resume full
of odd jobs, a laundry list of dating
experiences, and an active member of the
GLBT social scene, Angela has often been
labeled as a Professional Lesbian.  After
several years of performing open mic
stand-up comedy routines, Angela has
now focused on writing as an outlet for her
unique and comedic insight into lesbian
culture, and is happy to be a new
contributor to Ambiente Magazine.

CLICK HERE for more Angela